My Views of Womanhood

A few weeks back, my Institute lesson was on Isaiah chapter 3. This chapter more or less is a chastisement of the daughters of Zion for their worldliness and pronounces doom on them if they do not repent. My institute teacher posed to us the question of why women were being so aggressively chastised when surely it was not only them who were sinning. His answer was as women start to lower their standards in a society, the rest of the society follows them, so Isaiah was particularly concerned with the women sinning. This particular example does not excuse men sinning, just listen or watch a session of the LDS General Conference Priesthood Session and I am willing to bet men were reprimanded in some way.

Since this particular Institute lesson I've thought a lot about the examples of different women in my life, whether I'm related to them or not, and how they are helping uphold our society. I wanted to take some time an thank them personally for what they have done for me, and why they have helped me.

1. Lorena and Tess

Lorena and Tess are two of my co-workers and both have shown me so much about hard work and sacrifice. Both are married and not much older then I am, but both of them act with such dignity that I forget I am less than one year younger then them. Lorena has a young son and is working full time so her husband can go to school full time. As far as I can see, the only free time Lorena gets throughout the week is when she drops off her son as nursery during church, and yet in the 9 months I have known Lorena I have never heard her complain about this.
Tess is currently 8 months pregnant, still working a part time at a job where she is on her feet all day, and going to school. I have not heard her complain about any of these things. I feel guilty working with these almost divine women because I complain a lot about how tired I am, and I only have to worry about taking care of my self and carrying myself around. Lorena and Tess, thank you for being such amazing people and women. I hope to one day have the strength the two of you have.

2. My Grandmothers

My Grandma Roundy passed several years ago, yet I still remember her as one of the most loving and caring people I know. She had 9 children, and dozens of grandchildren, yet I always felt unique and loved individually by her. It was raining the day of her funeral up until we drove over to the cemetery for the graveside part. Just as her bishop stood to say a few words, the sun broke through the clouds. Her bishop compared this to her, she was a shining ray of light no a dark day for those she came in contact with. She was this way for me, and if she were here I would like to thank my Grandma Roundy for that and say I hope to one day be as loving as she was.
One Sunday I went to visit my Grandma Allen. She was not home, so I took a seat to wait for her. One of my aunt and uncles soon showed up and we started talking. My aunt commented on something that was really interesting to me. She said that my Grandma always helped my Grandfather feel like a man. When decisions needed to be made, she had her mind up what she felt should happen, but she would ask my Grandfather what he wanted to do and then "suggest" what she would do. He would usually pick what she had suggested. In this way, she allowed him to be the man of the family while still having a large say in what happened. I noticed that my Grandfather did act like a man in all excellent ways. He was kind, gently, hard working, patience, along with many other great attributes, and I believe it is because of how my Grandma Allen treated him. As the saying goes, "Behind every great man is a better woman." I hope one day to inspire others to be better in the same way she has inspired me, and would like to thank her for that inspiration.

3. My Mom

The only women that will ever have the title of "Mom" for me is Sharon Allen. She has been there for me my whole life, from providing a home within herself for me for 9 months to letting me in her heart for my whole life. She has taught me, nurtured me, disciplined me, encouraged me, and made me feel uniquely loved even with four siblings who are all very different in needs and desires. One of the most touching stories to me is as I was on my mission, on the days that I was scheduled to email letters home she would sit and wait at the computer. Her day would not start until she had heard from me. I didn't know this was happening, and if I had, I would have made sure I had gotten to a computer sooner. I hope one day to be as uniquely caring as you are.
“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” —Abraham Lincoln.

Their are many other women that have great impacts on my life. All the girls that work in the deli with me, those who have decided to go on mission, the girl that has tried so hard to keep in contact with me over time; thank you. As I have said before, I hope one day to some of the qualities you have.

Growing and Learning

I had a thought before my mission as I was walking into the AP Calculus Test my senior year of high school. It was: Everything that I have learned over the past year has been leading up to this moment. Every assignment, every test, every day of class, they were all preparing me for the roughly three hours that I would take this test. I took the test, and all that time paid off, I passed. Later, I was thinking about this idea, and I realized I was shortchanging myself. I had been preparing for this test since Kindergarten, and and in all reality before that. From learning 1+1=2 to that AP test, I had been preparing, even though at that time I could have had no idea what it was this path would eventually lead too.

I would like to share about my personal conversion to the Gospel in light of this story. I am going to gloss over details, and hopefully in other posts go in to more depth with them, but for now we are going to look at an overall picture. I was raised in a LDS home, with my parents taking me actively to church. We held regular Family Home Evening Monday nights and family scripture study in the morning with my Mom dragging us kicking and screaming some of the time. Church was so much a part of my life, my neighbors were all "Brother" and "Sister" instead of Mr. and Miss. When I was about 14, I started having doubts. I started wondering why I was wasting my time with church. I decided to find out for myself whether the church was true or not, and started reading The Book of Mormon. I found out it was true, and it was amazing. I actively  attended seminary over the next four years and felt the Spirit often in those classes. I graduated high school and the next step in life was to go on a mission.

I was excited when I submitted my papers, and unlike most people I ask, I had a couple of places I wanted to go. My older brother was at the time serving his mission in the London, England Mission, and my Dad served his mission in the Scotland Mission. I felt confident that, given these facts, I was going to the English Island. My second pick would have been to go to South America. I got my call: Arkansas, Little Rock Mission. English Speaking.

I was not happy. I did not want to go to Arkansas. I didn't even know where Arkansas was!

When you get your mission call, among all the forms is one you send back as an acceptance letter. I was temped to say something a little like this: "I accept this call, but are you sure this is the right one? Maybe you confused me with another Tyler Allen, because I'm pretty sure I am not suppose to go to Arkansas." I didn't, I just said something like, "I'm happy to serve here." Inside I was not sure this would be for me and I can say with confidence if what happened next had not happened, I would have come home from my mission early.

I went to the temple and I prayed about it, and I got the answer that God had not messed up, and the Arkansas, Little Rock Mission was the mission I was meant to go to. I went on my mission, and it was the hardest experience of my life, but I would not have it any other way.

My faith has grown a whole lot since I was 14, and I am so happy it has.

Now, if you were to go back and show little 14 year old me everything that was going to happen to me in the next 8 years, I would not have believed I could do it. And at 14 I couldn't do it, but I grew into it, in the same way I could not do Calculus in Kindergarten, but I can now.

Life Advice

I don't claim to be a great knower of stuff. I will not even claim to be very good at writing (I bet anyone well versed in English cringes every time the read something I have written, this one is for you Lis). In the great scheme of things, I am near the bottom of the group that should be giving advice. That's why I don't plan on using my own knowledge, but the knowledge of great teachers that I have had, and then giving observations on that knowledge. I would encourage you to look at the quote, and come up with your own observation.

1) "This world has a disease, and that is Fear. The way to defeat this fear is through faith is others and love for others." -Brent Warnock-

Brent Warnock was my communications teacher for my spring semester of college in 2013. Communications was a generals course, so I was not super excited to be taking it, but what I found from Brent was an amazing teacher that cared so much about every student. The last day of class he told us this and said that we now had the duty to go out and help fight this disease. I found this to very hard to do! Fear is such a huge part of my life! Overcoming fear has become an overall goal of my life.

2) "I would teach them less of the do's and do not's and teach them more to love Christ." -Brother Krouge-

Brother Krouge was my institute teacher last semester (fall 2013). He is sort of a goofy guy, and one day, out of nowhere he says this in relationship to raising his children. I don't remember what he was saying before or what he talked about after, but that quote just stood out to me so much. Teaching anyone about life should really just be teaching them how to love Christ more and more. That should be the underlying theme of every talk given in church, every visit with others, every class in institute: Love Christ. Try to get as close to having the same Charity for Christ that He has for us.

3) "It is worth being strong if it keeps them from being hurt." -Brother Gordon"

This is a quote and the next one are both from my current institute teacher. This is another quote that is concerning raising children, and at first if may seem to be a little opposed to the last quote. However, I feel that these two quotes really work with each other and along with the first quote. We should have consent faith and love for others, but we need to be strict sometimes. However, with that strictness, we need to be pointing them towards Christ.

4) "I know that because I stand on Revelatory Ground." -Brother Gordon-

I have heard my fair share of anti-Mormon propaganda. I have sat with preachers as they attempted to tear my religion to shreds. I have seen articles proclaiming how false my church is. This kind of this does bother me, not because it shakes my faith, but because of how misinformed people are about my faith. My faith is not shaken by these things because I know, with my answer coming from God, that this religion is true. I have prayed and I have gotten an answer, and although I may not always live up to the answer I have gotten, I stand firmly on Revelatory Ground.

5) This one is not a quote, as much as an observation that I have seen over the last couple of weeks. I am in a business lecture series course. The first two speakers that have been invited to come have been Jeffrey D. Clark and Amy Rees Anderson. Both of them are very successful business persons. Both have been the head of very successful multi-million dollar companies. At the end of both of their lectures they took a few questions, and both times the same question was asked: What kind of books would you suggest reading? Both of these amazing people in the world of business paused for a second in thought, and then responded that they don't really read a lot of business books because they mostly read religious books. The first time I thought is was cool, the second time I saw a correlation. Success comes from being firmly planted, and being firmly planted takes continual personal nourishment.

I hope this helps someone out in a similar way to how it has helped me out.

My New Year: 2014

From the 28th of December to the 5th of January I got the opportunity to go back to my mission and spend a little over a week in the Memphis, Tennessee area. It was a beautiful experience, and I gained a lot of inspiration on how I want to live my life over the next year. I'm not one to really do New Year Resolutions: I felt for a long time to make goals that cover a whole year is a little ridiculous, but I have since learned that having long term goals is almost essential to long term growth. So here are my New Year Goals for 2014 that I thought of while on my trip.

1) Respect Others: Almost everyone I saw while on my trip showed me an enormous amount of respect. An example of this was the Daniels family. I was still pretty young on my mission when I met the Daniels, and over the course of five months my companion and I taught them. In the end, we baptized four of Sister Daniels daughters. It was a beautiful experience that I hope to never forget. When I went to visit them, all of the Daniels children came in dressed in what looked like their nicest clothes. This really touched me because the Daniels are not a wealthy family and they got dressed up just because I was visiting. It gave me the desire to live the kind of life that deserves that respect. So, for this year, I am going to try and freely give respect with the hope that those receiving it will live more abundant lives.

2) People are more Important than Things: I visited one family that I was very close to as a missionary, and it was very much the opposite to the visit with the Daniels. I walked in halfway through a recorded television show and I waited patiently as they finished the rest of it. After that episode however, another one was started, and then another. I sat in their home for three hours watching television with them, until I finally had to leave because I had another place to visit. As I sat there watching TV, I got pretty angry. Even though I had flown halfway across the country and it had been a full year since this family had seen me, the prerecorded television show about exploring a cave to find junk, turn it into something, and then sell it, was more important. I never want someone to feel they way I felt. For this year, I am going to really try to see the things that are truly important. Video Games are nice, but I can come back to them. My phone is great, but I can respond to that text later. Movies and Television Shows can have a place in my life, but I can rewind those, I cannot rewind the time I could have spent with a person.

3) Living Worthily of the Temple: I reason for my trip to Memphis was the Sealing of Matt and Dee, who were the last people that I saw baptized on my mission. It was beautiful. As we were sitting in the Sealing Room, waiting for the ordnance to begin, people from the Millington Ward began to come in. Some of them were dressed in all white, but those that were not we dressed in Church Clothes. The one thing that was in common between all of us we that we were all wearing white shoes and socks. The Temple is a holy place, wearing white shoes is a physical way we remember that: we are walking somewhere sacred. I always want to live in a way that I can stand in that sacred place.



Jesus was the Frist Christmas Gift

I've been thinking a lot about gifts over the last couple of weeks. I mean, Christmas is coming up and that seems to be the big idea with Christmas, gift giving and receiving. From talking to some of my friends, it seems like this focusing on gifts is a bad think. As one friend said, "It is just sad that Christmas is all about commercialism."

This is sad, but the I feel that the idea of gift giving and receiving is the "True Meaning of Christmas." This was shown to me one year ago, but a young father living just north of Memphis. I was having dinner with his family, and after we finished, as a game, we decided to all take a piece of paper and draw something that had to do with Christmas. I don't know what I drew; most likely something involving my families matching Christmas PJs, but what this young father drew really touched me. It touched me enough that I took a picture of it.

 

 

I've thought a lot about how Christ was the very first Christmas Gift. He was given to the World, to save us all from our sins, to do what we could not do. He was the most perfect, necessary, and eternal gift that we have all ever received.

 

The reason that I give gifts is because I want to give back in some way. Christ gave me so much: a Friend when I have been alone, Strength when I was completely beaten down, Happiness when their should have been not reason for happiness, Hope and Joy in my future. When I give gifts, I am trying to give those things.

 

I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas, and I hope that you think about what kind of gifts you can give others.



"There's My Boy!"

My mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was an amazing experience, as all LDS missions should be for all LDS missionaries. I grew and learned so much about others and myself, and much of this learning was from other people. The first person that I saw baptized into the Church was one of those people that taught me so much. Helen Foster.

About twelve years ago now (around 2001), Brother Foster heard the missionary discussions from a set of Elder's (the term for male missionaries) and was baptized. Sister Helen Foster, his wife, was not interested and would not stay in the same room as the Elder's, always finding an excuse to be in another part of the house. With little to no support from his wife, Brother Foster struggled with going to church and would only go every so often over the years, usually when the current missionaries would start visiting him. Fast forward ten years. Helen Foster's lungs collapse from a lifetime of strain working in factories. She is taken to the hospital, and was in the hospital for some time. The current Elders found out about this, and decided to visit Helen every day in the hospital. Her heart was softened, and after she got out of the hospital she would stay in the room and even participate when the Elders would visit. This is when I come into the story. One of my first stops as a missionary was the Foster's home.

I was scared. This was the first time I had moved out of my home and was the furthest I had ever been from my family. I just sat there as the missionary I was with, Elder Raddison Veater, taught the Fosters. At the conclusion of the lesson, the Fosters asked me to say a prayer before we left. I believe it was the first time I spoke while at there house. The prayer was short, and when I opened up my eyes, Helen was just staring at me. Then she said, "Boy! You have to speak up because I can not hear a word you're saying!" Over the next few visits I got the same remark about how I needed to speak up until I started speaking loud enough so that she could hear me.

The next two months of meeting with the Fosters was a joy for me. I learned to love them as grandparents. We invited Helen to be baptized and in March of 2011 she was baptized by Bo Tucker, the Branch Mission Leader, with Brother Foster there to assist. It was beautiful.

I spent another couple of months in West Memphis, Arkansas where the Fosters lived until I was asked to move by our Mission President (the leader of the mission). Throughout the next year of my time as a missionary, I kept in contact with the Fosters. I found out that they were planning on going to the LDS Temple in Memphis, Tennessee. At the time I found this out, I was about 60 miles South of Memphis in Mississippi. I knew that I would not be able to go because I was too far away. Two weeks before the Fosters were going to go to the Temple, my Mission President once again moved me, this time to a small town just 15 miles from the Temple. Right after I moved I called up the Mission President and told him that whether he liked it or not, I was going to the Temple the day that the Fosters when. He laughed and said that I could go.

For those that do not know about LDS Temples, they are the most sacred buildings to the LDS faith. In them families can be married for not just this life, but for all eternity. The Fosters, even though they had already been married for over 40 years, wanted to stay together forever. On the day that the Fosters went to the Temple, I got there a little early, and because of that the Fosters didn't see I was there at first. Their is a room in all LDS Temples around the world called the Celestial Room. Each Celestial Room that I have been in has been amazing and beautiful, with the goal of the room to make those that enter feel as though they have entered back into God's presence.

The Fosters entered into the Celestial Room before I did, and when I walked in, Helen looked at me, the first time seeing me in over a year, and said "There's My Boy!" and held her arms open for a hug.
This was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life, and as I said before Sister Helen Foster taught me so much. What may be the two most profound are:

1) She taught me that most of the time you don't get to see the results of your actions. Only two of the missionaries that had tried to work with her got to see her baptized, and I was the only missionary that saw as she went to the Temple (Elder Raddison Veater had gone back home to Utah by that point).

2) She taught me how I want to be welcomed when I see God once again. When I see Him, and it has been a very long time since I last saw Him, I hope that He will hold open His arms and say, "There's My Boy!"